Writing Retreat…

There’s something magical about going to a different destination. Breaking away from everything going on in your life to focus on yourself for a change. That’s exactly what I did when I took myself away from my family, my job, my social life, to concentrate on my writing.

In my last post, I was battling to stay motivated in the re-writing of my novel, Sydney’s Boxer. I felt as if I wasn’t making progress. I was questioning why I’d decided to rewrite anything as it was taking forever to finish. I took a step back, examined and reminded myself how far I’ve come in my writing journey. I wrote Sydney’s Boxer in a year and a month. I entered a competition, became a finalist and was announced, 2^nd runner-up. I have a burning desire to finish and publish the manuscript. I’d put in too much work and sacrifice to give up now!

Last year when I was pressured to finish Sydney’s Boxer for the competition, I booked a 2-night stay in Gordon’s Bay to write uninterrupted. It was wonderful. I had an entire studio to myself with views of the ocean. I was in writing heaven. I got so much done during that time. I left invigorated and motivated to finish the rest of my novel. I desperately needed this now. So my search began for another place to inspire me.

I managed to find a beautiful place within a short space of time. Without thinking too much about it, I booked it, put in leave and made it happen. My family would have to do without me for 3 nights. There were no complaints and because I’m a great planner, the house didn’t fall apart without me. On a Tuesday, I packed my car and left to a little cottage in Glencairn, a small suburb before Simon’s Town.

The cottage was cozy, beach-inspired and had everything I needed for a mini-break. The highlight was the view from the balcony – miles of ocean that turned a different hue each time I stood before it. I loved everything about the place, even the train that snaked along beside the ocean, stopping at Glencairn station, then continuing on its way. I easily would’ve stood on that balcony forever if it wasn’t for the purpose of my trip!

My laptop came out and so did my draft of Sydney’s Boxer. I began rewriting and self-editing. The beauty of being away from everything is your time is yours. No responsibilities, no disturbances, no routine chores, nothing. I concentrated on my novel like a full-time job, working from mid-morning to around 21h00 at night. I ate simple meals that required no cooking.  I took stretch breaks after each chapter on the balcony, savoring the sights and sounds of glorious Glencairn. The owner of the cottage, Rob kindly allowed me to sit on the deck that was sun-soaked in the mornings to write. Rob’s dogs, Saber and Stormy kept me company. I’d found a slice of paradise.

During my stay, I managed to rewrite and self-edit 8 chapters. More than I’ve done in a long time. It got me thinking about how much I’d achieve as a full-time writer. I’ve been yearning for this for years now. Fear has kept me caged to my day-job and instilled doubt that I’ll be unable to sustain myself and my family as an artist. Yes, I’d probably not afford to take short breaks in beautiful destinations, but I’d be fulfilling my purpose. Isn’t that what we’re all meant to do?

My writing retreat was a huge success. Not only did I finish more than I intended. It gave me the drive to finish Sydney’s Boxer, to get it ready for the next stage in the writing process. It also set the wheels in motion of becoming a full-time writer. I don’t know if I’ll make it, I don’t know what my future holds. The time will never be right, but if I have the courage to say yes who knows what the universe has in store for me 🙂

 

 

The Writing Process…

I’ve been feeling despondent in my fiction writing. When I committed to writing a novel two years ago, I thought I had finally overcome the fear barrier of this mammoth task and was building courage in reaching my dream.

Little did I know that writing a novel wasn’t the hard part, deciding what to do with it after was! It also didn’t help that I’d entered my novel into a writing competition in 2018, coming in as the 2^nd runner-up. The immense pressure of the competition had taken its toll on me. After the announcement, I took time off to decide what was next for my novel.

An opportunity arose that saw a publisher calling for partial submissions of manuscripts and I sent Sydney’s Boxer off in December 2018. In January 2019, I received my first rejection letter. It said that although my work was good, it wasn’t what they were looking for. It hurt, I’m not gonna lie. But it didn’t feel like it was the end of the world either. I knew that writers receive many rejection letters before being published. It was par for the course of this vocation.

What I didn’t yet understand about myself was that I don’t fare well with failure. Not winning the competition, not getting published added to my list of failures. And when I encounter failure, I never want to follow that route again. I’m a perfectionist, for me it’s all or nothing.

I decided that going the traditional publishing route was not for me and that perhaps self-publishing was the way to go. The next task was to find an editor to fix my novel and get it ready for publishing. When I got in touch with editors, I was told I needed to get my novel read by beta readers. So far the only people who’d read my work were judges from the competition and my writing friend, Dawn. In actual fact that was enough, but I decided to send it to other writer friends who offered to read it. The process proved fruitless. I’ve now learnt a valuable lesson that manuscripts aren’t meant to be read by friends or writers. Beta reading is strictly for readers. A deadline on when you’d like feedback is paramount. I was given the run around by people I trusted and it set me back.

At this stage I felt as if Sydney’s Boxer wasn’t good enough despite it doing well in the competition. A blog post by Inge Saunders on rewriting a novel caught my interest. The process detects mistakes through retyping. With the help of an additional monitor attached to my notebook, I began retyping my novel word for word. The process allowed me to fix dialogue, analyse sentence structure, spot word repetitions and highlight secondary characters who play insignificant roles in the novel. In the competition I had a tight deadline and didn’t have the luxury of time to deliver my best effort. Now without a looming deadline, I can review my work clearly.

As much as I can see the benefit of this process, it’s been slow going. Every time I finish a chapter, I question why I started the process in the first place. It takes drive to get it done as I’m working on the same project and don’t feel like I’m creating something new. Rewriting is tedious, calling for mountains of patience and perseverance to finish. Since I’m not a full-time writer, the process is taking longer than expected. Diving into another project would mean I’d shelve Sydney’s Boxer and I’m not prepared to do that.

All of this has had a knock on effect on my creativity. Where I had an endless supply of blog ideas, they’ve run dry because my writing process is taking so much out of me. On top of that I keep getting asked when my novel is going to be published! It’s hard to explain when I’m grappling with it myself. It’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap when other writers are publishing books every six months and I’m battling to get one book out. It doesn’t help too when writing blogs dictate that your first novel shouldn’t be published. It’s merely a pat on the back that you have what it takes to write a novel and should never see the light of day.

As much as I’ve noted the advice, I know that only I can decide what’s best for me. I can’t allow fear of failure to hold me back in publishing Sydney’s Boxer. Through my own experience, I have to learn what works and what doesn’t. It’s my journey after all, the good and the bad.

 

Running and Writing…

I’m a runner and a writer. I started running before I took my writing seriously. Through the years I’ve discovered how similar running and writing are to me and why I feel so passionate about them:

Discipline

Running – To be a runner, I had to train. In the early hours of the morning, no matter the weather, no matter how I felt. There’s no quick fix to getting fit, it takes sacrifice, time and effort to become a runner.

Writing is hard. Without practice it will always remain challenging. I write every night. Whether it’s for an hour, whether I’m tired, whether the words flow or not. A little adds up. I managed to write a novel this way.

Goals

Running – Setting goals for myself helps me to become a stronger runner. I select races I want to run and start training. I visualize how I’d like to do in the race. On race day, I give it my all, no matter the circumstances. There’s no better feeling than reaching the end of a race, totally spent, and receiving a prized medal to wear proudly.

Writing – I’ve journalled for years. I wrote short stories and penned a few poems. It took me a long time to commit to writing a novel. But once I did, nothing stood in my way from reaching my goal.

Planning

Running – Years of running has taught me how to plan my runs. Arriving on time to ensure I’m not stressed before a training run or race. Laying out my running gear at night before races. Ensuring my nutrition is on par leading to a big race. Keeping track of all my runs, race times, how I feel during or after a run helps me to identify and prevent problems as they arise.

Writing – I’m a plotter. It takes me a long time to come up with story ideas, characters, plot development, arcs. Everything is well-documented in an A4 book from visual pictures of my characters, their dress style, settings and loads of research.

Rest

Running is physically taxing. I need to take a nap after a race or before an afternoon training run to ensure that my body is rested and recovers from the strain of running. Rest days between runs are vital. I cross-train with swimming that uses different muscles and aids recovery.

Writing – I can’t write well if I don’t have sufficient sleep. Creativity is a mental game and very draining. Without power naps I can’t function optimally. Some people write well into the early hours of the morning, I’m not one of them.

Rhythm

Running – Training has resulted in me finding a rhythm when I run. It arrives after the 3rd km, when I settle into a pace and feel light on my feet. This is the moment when I know I can go on and on and do well on a training run or race.

Writing – I’ll say it again. Writing is hard. It takes patience to sit in front of a computer screen and stare at an open document with only a few words appearing, only to be deleted due to writer’s block. But then there are moments where I’m on a roll, where my fingers fly on the keyboard and I’m in a dance of passion! I love that flow!

Solitude

Running – I’m a lone runner. As much as I love running with others, I don’t like talking when I run. I run best on my own. I mentally speak to myself on runs when I encounter hills or feel tired. I remind myself how well I’m running, how far I’ve come and how I can push just a little more to get to the end.

Writing requires solitude. I have to be alone, in my study, writing. Some writers like to listen to music or have others around and function well this way. Not me. I enjoy the quiet, it’s the only way I can produce good writing. Sometimes I go to a cabin or a studio with a fabulous view and do nothing else but write, and that’s when I feel alive and the words multiply.

Motivation

Running – reminds me constantly how far I’ve come. From being a non-exercise person with unhealthy habits, who decided to take up a sport that totally transformed my life, one step at a time. What I put into running, all the hours, training, planning, motivates me to keep running no matter how many setbacks I endure.

Writing – I’ve journalled for years. I love to read. That’s where my dream of becoming a writer took shape. What started as a fantasy of writing stories has turned into a reality for me. I’m a Romance Writer and soon to be published Author. Writing is my calling, my passion, my future.

Community

Running has allowed me to meet wonderful people who I wouldn’t have met otherwise. I’ve made loads of friends through the sport. I enjoy their company, socializing and hanging out at my running club or at races.

Writing – I first joined the West Coast Writers’ Circle to discipline me in writing regularly. Then I joined a Small Writers group that offered support and guidance in producing creative stories. Next I joined the Romance Writers Organisation of SA (Rosa) where I found my tribe and finally committed to writing my first romance novel. I love socialising with writers. They inspire me and are always willing to share their wealth of knowledge.

Perseverance

Running – At the beginning of my running journey, I recall how hard it was to run 5kms with no walk breaks in between. I cried in frustration because I couldn’t attain it. I was so impatient and expected it to happen fast. It took over a year of consistent training before I got there.

Writing – I was disheartened when other writers were able to write an entire story with just a writing prompt. There I was struggling to string words together. It took me twice as long to come up with something and felt it was never good enough. I thought I was a failure and was close to giving up. But I didn’t, I kept persevering. Miracles happen when you don’t give up.

Dreams come true

Running – I admired runners, especially how effortlessly they ran. I wanted to run like them, but never thought I would be a runner. I never thought I could be good at exercise or any sport for that matter. I wasn’t brought up that way and starting so late in life was like a dream come true. Now I can’t imagine doing anything else!

Writing was always my dream career. Yet for so many reasons and bad choices, it evaded me. But the fire I felt for writing wouldn’t die. I found my way back and I know it’s all I want to do. A published Author is what I’ll be, I have no doubt about that.

Joy

Running keeps me sane. I have a full-time job and a busy lifestyle. Being able to go for a run is what my body thrives on. The joy I feel, commonly known as runner’s high is always there after a run. Running makes me profoundly happy.

Writing – A day without writing my thoughts, without reading, without thinking about writing is a desert. I derive great satisfaction from my blogging journey that commenced 5 years ago. Fiction writing was always harder to break into, but now that I have what it takes, I plan on never stopping. Writing gives me purpose and there’s no greater joy.

Reflecting on 2018…

With every year that sails by, I take time to reflect on the highs, lows and lessons learnt along the way.

2018 goals and achievements

I’ve learnt through experience that setting too many goals in a year leads to despair when not achieved. 2018 saw me focusing only on two – finishing my first romance novel, Sydney’s Boxer and learning to swim. Each goal required immense determination and commitment. Both consumed so much of me and when things got hard, I questioned whether I was cut out for it. But I persevered and surprised myself when I finished my novel! And I learnt to swim at 43! Lesson learnt: It’s at the point when you’re close to giving up, when failure is circling you, when you have to surrender. A shift occurs, and a miracle happens. Don’t give up!

Losing a loved one

Roxy, my beloved fur-baby passed on 6 May 2018. I adopted her as a puppy, spent 12 glorious years with her, loved her unconditionally and never wanted to lose her. Her death toppled my world, stole the connection we shared, changed me forever. This is the second loss of a loved one I’ve encountered in my life and it never gets easy. Lesson learnt: The ones we love are only borrowed to us. They will return to the Lord sooner than we think. Cherish them while they still breathe.

Writing

2018 saw me enter my first competition, the Strelitzia Contest for unpublished Romance Authors. In what began as an opportunity to learn from a mentor and grow as a writer, turned into the biggest surprise of the year. My fiction writing, something that hasn’t come easy to me, that I’ve worked painstakingly at, was taken seriously and received an accolade. Sydney’s Boxers was chosen as a finalist and 2^nd runner-up. I worked around the clock to finish and submit an entire novel on an extremely tight deadline. I believed that it had what it took to win the contest. But it didn’t and I was disappointed. Lesson learnt: Have no expectations in everything you do. Do your best and let God take care of the rest.

Running

I started running in 2010. I loved it so much, ran numerous races and even trained for a marathon. But since being diagnosed with early osteoarthritis in my knees in 2015 and undergoing knee arthroscopy in 2016, I cut back on my running. My condition is confusing as exercise plays a vital role in maintaining my weight by not overloading my knees. But too much exercise inflames them, leading to injury. Running was heavy on my knees and had to be balanced. That’s where swimming came in. I alternated between the sports and was able to enjoy each and stay injury free. Lesson learnt: Don’t give up on the things you love. Do whatever it takes to fix an injury, research your condition, listen to your body and determine what works for you! You are in charge of your body – not a condition, not what others say you should do, only you!

Work and Family

I have a full-time job. I write in the evenings. I train in two sports. I have a family. 365 days go by in a flurry of too many things to do and far too little time. Everything I do feels like work in every aspect of my life. It takes immense planning to keep everything working like clockwork. It’s extremely taxing and I find it hard to take a break and do nothing. I recognize and acknowledge I wouldn’t be who I am today without my family, my biggest helpers who keep me grounded and tell me when I’m overdoing things. Lesson learnt: No matter how accomplished you are or how successful you become, it means nothing without your family, the ones who’ll take care of you when no-one else will.

Gratitude

I am who I am because of God. I never for a moment forget that. Every goal I achieve, every blessing I receive, every hardship I encounter, I know that God has played a role in it. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t pray, meditate or thank him for this beautiful life of mine. Lesson learnt: Those who are grateful, will never need more, for they have all they need.

2018, thank you for all the good and bad moments. The lessons learnt will stay with me forever.

 

 

Sydney’s Boxer…

One’s first novel will always remain special. Mainly for the sheer drive it takes to write a novel and accomplishing it, despite all the doubts along the way. It was a journey where I tapped into my true potential, that what I was writing was meant to come out and nothing could stop me from finishing.

I will never forget the moment when it hit me I was afraid to write a novel. I’d been writing for a few years with the West Coast Writers’ Circle before I joined the Romance Organisation of Writers (ROSA). I attended all the writing events, sat with published Authors, read their books, wrote books reviews, but couldn’t commit to writing a novel myself. Rae Rivers, a successful Romance Author had always taken an interest in me. She sent me emails from time to time enquiring how my writing was going. I’d give excuse upon excuse on how busy I was to write a novel. Then at the Annual Writing Retreat in 2017, Rae sat opposite me and looked me straight in the eye and said, “Sumi, don’t let us meet at another event and you haven’t started your novel!” At first I was angry by her remark. I was ready to remind her of all my responsibilities, but stopped myself realising they were excuses not to commit. Fear was holding me back and winning. I needed to step up and do something about it.

Returning from the Writing Retreat, I made a promise to myself that I would write a novel. I pulled out of a creative writing group I was part of. I stopped writing short stories or anything else that was eating my writing time. Then I started researching tropes and lines I could write for, but nothing felt right. I thought of an idea for my story and nothing came. I prayed about it daily. I was becoming despondent and so close to giving up.

At the time, I was recovering from a knee op and couldn’t run. Instead, I was frequenting the gym, cycling to strengthen my knees. Ryan, a personal trainer friend came to me and we had a conversation about my not running and how much I missed it. There was a guy with boxing gloves, punching the bag ahead of us. Ryan caught me looking at him and said, “Why not try boxing?” I stopped cycling and looked at him in disbelief. “What do I know about boxing?” Ryan tried to convince me it was the best training for upper body strength, especially since I couldn’t run. I didn’t buy into it of course, leaving the gym still in limbo.

Runners World contacted me soon after wanting to do a photoshoot for runners who’d lost weight through running. I thought the universe was playing tricks on me. Why give me this opportunity when I wasn’t even running! But I agreed and went for the shoot and had fun with it. Thereafter, I drove to Sea Point Pavilion and took a 5km walk. I was peckish soon after and decided to stop at a Nando’s restaurant. I chose a table beside a corner wall to give me privacy and ordered. Waiting for my order, my eyes fell on the framed sketch hanging on the wall. It depicted a woman boxer and a story of how she’d taken up boxing to defend herself from abusive men. I couldn’t stop staring at the picture and fished out my journal from my bag and wrote a short story on it.

I didn’t think much of it after. But the strangest things were happening. Wherever I went, I saw a symbol of boxing, a sticker of boxing gloves on a car ahead of me, boxers in the gym training, the punching bag stealing my gaze. I couldn’t deny it any longer – God was steering me in the direction of boxing and I still didn’t want to believe it. I couldn’t understand how I was going to write a novel about boxing when I knew nothing about the sport!

Once acceptance set in, I sat down to plot my story. I found visual characters, developed them and slowly but surely, I had something to work with. I was excited about it. I decided to visit a real boxing club to get a feel of it. But when I called the club, I was informed that I needed to train as a boxer to gain inside information. This wasn’t my intention, but I did whatever it took to get me there. I signed up at The Ring and Chris, the coach welcomed me. There was an actual ring in the gym, real boxers were training, hip hop music was blaring. My hands were strapped in cotton wrap in preparation of gloves being placed on them. I joined a mixed class of young athletic trainees. The session commenced with 15 minutes of skipping. I rarely skip because of my arthritic knees, but didn’t want to wimp out, so I did it. Next was all sorts of strength training –  planking, push-ups, lifting 5kg balls and cardio. At no point did we stop for a break. Then we were told to strap on our gloves and positioned around the ring to hit speed balls, punching bags and the like. Two by two was taken into the ring to spar with Chris. I was punching the speed bag and praying Chris wouldn’t call me. But he did and my heart pounded as I climbed into the ring and stood before him. He gave me commands, when to jab, when to left hook, right. It was all foreign to me. I couldn’t get the sequence right. Adrenalin was flooding me, fear and anticipation intertwined. Chris even swore at me a few times when I missed punches. When I left the gym that night, not only was I dripping in sweat, I felt like an absolute champion. Now I understood the thrill of boxing. You have to have guts to train like a boxer, to risk everything to win even if it means being beaten to death by an opponent.

I tried to do a few more sessions, but sadly my body wasn’t strong enough for the grueling training. But I had gained valuable research and was ready to start writing. My writing group was instrumental in spurring me on. We signed up for Camp Nano in July 2017 and my goal was to write 10 000 words. It seemed daunting at first, but I got the hang of it soon enough. I found I work very well when there’s a goal chasing me. When Camp Nano ended, things slowed down substantially. I was tackling the first fight scene and I didn’t know how to write it. Procrastination set in. I watched lots of boxing movies and went to live boxing matches to boost my knowledge. I prayed on it, asking God to guide me through the blocked stages of writing.

ROSA was promoting it’s Strelitzia Contest around November 2017. I don’t enter competitions, but what stood out for me was the mentorship they were offering to guide entrants through their novels. The requirements was the first three chapters of a novel and a synopsis. By this time I was already 50% into my novel and was considering entering. I spoke to Neil and Dawn Rae (Author and writing group friend) about it. They encouraged me to give it a go, to see what happens. The moment I entered, I knew 2018 was going to be a super-busy year for me. But I was up for the challenge and God was holding my hand every step of the way.

In January 2018, Romy Sommer, Chairperson of ROSA emailed me letting me know that my mentor was Rae Rivers! I couldn’t believe it! It was as if the universe had brought us together in some wonderful way. I knew Rae and was comfortable with her. She contacted me and I promised to send a draft of my first three chapters after I’d edited it. When I received Rae’s email response to my work, I didn’t open it immediately. I was so afraid she’d hate everything I wrote, would tell me I had no talent and was wasting my time pursuing a writing career. But she was so gentle and supportive. She thought my writing was pleasant and I had a voice. Except for lots of backstory in the beginning chapters, she was positive we could make it work. I was ecstatic. Rae’s approval of my writing, her guidance throughout the process taught me so much and I am forever grateful.

I submitted my first three chapters and the synopsis on 1 May 2018. It was a very trying period for me. My darling dog, Roxy was hospitalised and was very ill. She soon passed on and I was devastated. I didn’t write much and thought nothing of the contest either. As far as I was concerned, I’d already achieved my goal, having submitted my entry and told myself I wouldn’t make it into round two. But the universe had other plans for me. The week of the results arrived and most contestants wanted the outcome. Not me. I hate the build up to announcements, the pressure it places on people, the anxiety and stress – things I didn’t need at that stage. When I received the news I was a finalist, I couldn’t believe it! My first novel was chosen as one in three to go into the next round!

Then the it hit home how much work I had to get done in 6 weeks! I had to finish writing my novel, edit it myself and submit my entry by 31 July 2018. I had no time to waste and forced myself to finish. It took so much out of me – but proved I could push myself beyond my limits. I finished Sydney’s Boxer on 2 July 2018. It had taken me 1 year and 1 month to write and I was thrilled. What an achievement! I did it! I requested Dawn to assist me with the edits and reading my book. She told me to send it to her and take a break from it. Fear set in. How could I send her something so raw? I hadn’t had a chance to edit it myself, but she said I needed to listen to her and trust her. I did, of course and it gave me a much needed breather to get my mind away from the book.

I decided to make arrangements to go to the ROSA conference in Johannesburg. I booked a flight, arranged hotel accommodation and tried to take my mind off the looming deadline. But as time passed, I was panicking. Dawn was under pressure to finish her work and return it to me. Two weeks before deadline, I commenced on draft two and so began a grueling period of editing my work. I took time off work as I couldn’t get it done with all my commitments. My family took over all my duties. I slept very little, worked myself to a frenzy, had meltdowns on a daily, but managed to finish and submit my book on deadline by 31 July 2018!

The relief of having achieved my goal was golden. I was on a high for days. All the hard work, foregoing sporting activities, days of little sleep had paid off. I could sit back and indulge in wasteful activities without a care in the world. I had given it my absolute best and stayed positive that Sydney’s Boxer would do well. As the days drew closer to the announcement, anxiety set in. But I’d come so far, I needed to attend the ROSA conference and make the most of it.

I was glad I attended the ROSA conference. I learned so much, got to network with lots of Authors and built friendships. However, the gala dinner where the announcement would be made was fast approaching and trepidation was building. I went to my room and prayed real hard to steady myself. I took a nap, then a shower and got ready for the dinner. One of the finalists was there, Mandy Verbaan and we sat together, holding hands when the announcement was made. Rae Rivers opened the envelope and announced that Mandy had won, Tracy was the first runner-up and I was the second. My heart sank, I was disappointed. I’d worked so hard on Sydney’s Boxer, I’d given it my all. But it wasn’t meant to be and I had to accept it. The next day I got to spend time with my mom and sister in Pretoria and it was exactly what I needed to forget things for a while.

Returning to Cape Town, I had time to think about the experience. Yes, I didn’t win the contest, but I was one of three finalists who went into the second round on my first novel. That’s huge. It wasn’t what I expected entering the contest. All I wanted was to work with a mentor and I gained so much more. I had to pick myself up and vowed that it would not spell the end of my novel.

Sydney’s Boxer, my first novel, my idea from God, my hard work, sweat and all my tears, will be published.

 

10 Benefits of Morning Pages…

Morning Pages is the brainchild of Julia Cameron, Author of “The Artist’s Way.” The concept is taking time out of your day to sit and write three pages of longhand in a journal. It is not meant to be a work of art, but the act of moving the hand across the page, writing down whatever comes to mind. Nothing is too petty, too silly, or too weird to be included. It is simply draining the brain of negative thoughts and fears that block the path to serenity and creativity.

I work full-time and moonlight as a writer, so I know how difficult it is to carve time out in the fast-paced life we lead. Having to wake 20 minutes earlier to do this task was challenging for me at first, but once I saw how it was improving my mood, and the positives it was bringing  ̶  the sacrifice became well worth it. Morning pages changed my life. It can change yours, if you like. Here are the benefits:

1) Positive affirmations. I start my entry with the date and a subject heading, (this could be anything like, “I don’t have energy for this day”, “I hate to write”, whatever springs to mind). Then I list affirmations. I write the same affirmations every day without fail. The more I write them, the more they bloom in my soul. One of them is, “I am a brilliant and prolific Romance Author.” Another is, “I am a determined and strong runner and swimmer.” The profound thing about affirmations is the more they are repeated, the universe works on turning them into a reality. Find affirmations that speak to your goals and write them down daily. They will manifest – I promise they will.

2) Morning pages provides direction for the day ahead. How many mornings have you awoken and felt overwhelmed by the many tasks ahead? Writing them down, diminishes the fear surrounding them. In actual fact, as you put pen to paper, solutions start forming in your mind on how to tackle and dispose of them efficiently.

3) They drive doubts away. I truly depended on my morning pages when I was under deadline to finish my novel. I had no idea how I was going to do it, or if I would submit my manuscript on time. But I poured my fears into my journal, and found the courage to do my best each day. Don’t be afraid to reveal your darkest fears on paper  ̶  strength arrives when there is honesty.

4) Silences your inner critic. I have a lot of perfectionistic tendencies, and am incredibly hard on myself. Writing down my “inadequacies” makes them less threatening. Morning pages challenges my inner critic daily, reminding me how far I’ve come, to appreciate all I’m doing and to love myself  ̶  flaws and all.

5) Aids in making decisions. Do you procrastinate over decisions? I do, all the time! The act of writing allows me to me analyse reasons for not taking action. I can weigh all the pros and cons in my morning pages. Pretty soon I find myself ready to make the decision,  standing  proudly by my choice.

6) Letting go of excess baggage. I write copiously about work stresses, grief, strained relationships, just about anything that weighs me down. Dumping my feelings on paper, does not make the pain any less, but gives me an outlet to vent. Solutions may not be readily available, but in time, what used to hurt so much, has fallen by the wayside. It reinforces that letting go isn’t pleasant, but necessary in moving forward, to be person you were meant to be.

7) Steers you towards your hearts goals. I’ve always wanted to be a writer. Yes, I was writing short stories, poems and blogging, but I really wanted to write a novel. The more I wrote about it, the more things started materialising for me. If you don’t know what your heart goal is, try searching for it on paper. Once the heart pours onto the page, your goals become super-clear.

8) Generates ideas for creativity. Some people substitute morning pages for free writing. This form of writing is a timed session where you write non-stop, not worrying about grammar or whether it makes sense or not. The aim is to get as many words on paper in search of an idea that speaks to you. This is how creativity is unleashed  ̶  sticking around until the muse arrives.

9) Centres on positivity and gratitude. When morning pages becomes habitual, you can’t help but feel positive of your circumstances, despite the challenges. There is always something to be grateful for and morning pages affirms that.

10) Delivers serenity and a pep in your step for the day ahead. After I’ve written three pages every morning, I meditate for a minute or two. I’ve dumped all my negativity on paper and nothing stands in my way in having the best day ever. Serenity overflows and I’m ready to tackle my day, come what may.

Morning pages should not be seen as a chore. In fact the more you commit to it, the more habitual it becomes. On the days that you’re time-strapped, it can always be carried over to the next day. If three pages are too much for you, try two. Nothing is cast in stone  ̶  see what works for you, and let me know if it’s helped you in any way 🙂

Strelitzia Contest Finalist…

In my previous post, I mentioned I had entered the Romance Writers Organisation of South Africa (ROSA) contest for unpublished Authors. The requirements was to submit the first three chapters of my novel, together with a synopsis on 1 May, 2018.

The only reason I entered the contest was to work with a mentor. To guide me through the process of writing a novel. I had no expectations of going further, in fact, I didn’t think I stood a chance at all.

When the results of first round of the contest was set to be announced, I was a nervous wreck. I hate the waiting game and wanted to crawl under a rock and appear when it was all over. It was the evening of 14 June, 2018 and I was coming out of gym, having finished my swimming lesson, when I saw a missed call on my phone. It was from the Chairperson of ROSA, Romy Sommer. I returned the call and immediately assumed she was letting me know that I hadn’t made it. Instead she announced  ̶  I was one of the finalists going into the second round of the contest!! I was shocked beyond belief. Me, a finalist in a romance novel competition  ̶  wow just wow!

I’m not sure how I drove home that evening. I was screaming and crying at the same time. I dropped my bags in the lounge and ran to Neil to share the news with him, and the girls. They were ecstatic for me. I was on such a high, I couldn’t contain myself. I allowed myself a day of celebration, basking in the glory of having surpassed my goals for 2018.

But then it hit me, how much work I had to do, to finish my novel by 31 July, 2018! Six weeks was all I had. At that time, I was about 70% into my novel. But considering we were given four months to finalize three chapters, how was I going to finish my novel, edit it myself and submit on time? I had no clue, but I had a deadline that was chasing me, and I had no choice but to deliver.

I can’t begin to explain how hard I had to work to get my novel finished. Bear in mind, it’s my first and I had no previous experience. I was thrown into the deep end and I had to swim or drown. And I swam, as fast and as hard as I could. I went away on a solo writing weekend, away from my commitments, my family, anything that was a distraction to me. I worked late into the night, every-single-day. I stopped exercising, socializing and attending meetings, just to finish on time. And I did – I finished my novel on 2 July, 2018 with a heart full of gratitude.

The hard work wasn’t over yet. I took a small break, read it and worked with a writer friend, who checked it and highlighted discrepancies. The editing process had begun and I have to admit, it’s the worst part of writing for me. But, my mentor said, “editing makes your writing better”, and I saw that happening as I progressed.

I submitted my finished manuscript exactly on 31 July, 2018. I have never worked so hard  ̶  ever! It has been an unbelievable journey for me. When I set out to write my novel last year, all I knew was that the time was ripe to fulfill my dream. This competition raised the stakes, and pushed me out of my comfort zone. Seven months of the year was committed to it. I ate, slept, prayed and meditated on this novel. It was everything to me.

The good Lord has been my saving grace from the beginning. He gave me the idea for this novel, steered me in the direction of my dreams, guided me in writing scenes I was too afraid to put on paper. He wiped my fears away and gave me the belief I could do it.

I never expected to get this far. And even if my manuscript doesn’t win, I am already winner as I have a finished novel 🙂 One day at a time, one word at a time, I’ve made my dream a reality ❤

 

 

Writing up a Storm…

2018 saw me committing to writing fiction. Last year I’d made the decision to write my first romance novel and although I’d made good progress, I still wasn’t serious about it. In order to raise the stakes, I entered a Romance Writing competition to submit the first three chapters of my novel for judging.

This wasn’t an easy decision to take. I have a full time job, I’m a wife, mother, runner and writer all in one. It would take extreme focus, planning, determination and perseverance to reach my goal and I wasn’t sure I’d cope. But I had the backing of my family and with their support in the household, I was able to submit my entry and still keep my sanity.

The Strelitzia Competition is hosted by the Romance Writers Organisation of South Africa (ROSA) of which I am proud member. When I joined ROSA three years ago, I was an aspiring writer, dreaming of writing a novel, but not carving enough time for it. My life is incredibly full and I thrive on balance. But this year I needed to focus on one goal, and that was to finish my novel. The competition was the vehicle to get there. Each entrant was lucky to be mentored by a published Author. This was an opportunity to work closely with a mentor, to bounce ideas, to gain valuable insight I’d never achieve writing a book on my own. I grabbed it with both arms and soaked it in.

It also meant that I had to learn to edit, rework and restructure my writing to make it shine. I had to be open to constructive criticism whether I liked it or not. It pushed me past my comfort zone, stirred doubts I wasn’t good enough, that I was wasting my time and effort on something that wouldn’t see the light of day.

I had to be my own motivator, a slave driver to whip my behind when I slacked, dragged myself to write when I wanted to chill on my phone, yanked myself off the couch when I wanted to watch a movie or have long conversations with the family. In order to achieve my goal, I didn’t have time to waste, every minute was precious and I had to choose wisely how mine was spent.

To top it all, it was Lakeisha’s Matric Ball. There was lots of dashing around to get a dress made, shop for her needs, ensuring she looked like a princess. To add to my already hectic schedule, I signed up for CampNanoWrimo to write 13 000 words towards my novel in the month of April. I knew I was spreading myself thin and it was only through prayer and guidance from the good Lord that I managed to attain my short-term goals.

Five months of the year has passed and I feel drained and stretched beyond my limits. But there’s a beautiful feeling of accomplishment hugging me, a knowledge that I have what it takes to finish my novel. No matter the outcome of this competition, I am already a winner because I had the courage to enter, worked harder than ever and gave it my absolute all!

Fiction writing is hard. It takes years to write a novel, to keep returning to it when you’re the only one who believes in it. One has to be resilient to stay the course and I believe I have what it takes to get there. One day at a time, one word at a time, I will, I can, I am finishing this novel!

 

 

The Silver Moon…

Book Review: The Silver Moon – Bryce Courtenay

This is the first book I’ve read by the Author. It’s beautifully packaged in a blue hard cover reflecting the plains of Africa, where a giraffe gazes at a spectacular silver moon.

Bryce Courtenay passed away in 2012 after a brave battle with cancer. He was a prolific Author churning out countless best-sellers. Born and raised in South Africa, he departed to the UK to study Journalism before finding his calling in Australia. A career as a Copywriter spanned the next 35 years. At age 53, Courtenay wrote his first novel, “The Power of One,” giving rise to his talent and ultimately leading to a lucrative writing career.

The book reveals glimpses into Courtenay’s extraordinary life. A stand-out Chapter is the “Thinking Well.” How often do we find ourselves at crossroads not knowing which way to turn? Seeking a place that’s “only yours” to rifle through thoughts, asking honest questions but also taking into consideration opinions of others. This consultation with your inner-self leads to reasonable decisions and eventual contentment.

Courtenay was an incredible storyteller thriving through the power of words. He shares stories of his childhood, finding success and a vast knowledge on writing. Becoming a successful Novelist so late in life, he selflessly gave back through “Masterclass” teachings, empowering writers to craft popular novels.

The silver lining was the lyrical manner Courtenay described his everyday living. The animals he adored, obstacles overcome, growing vegetables, creating landscapes that brought endless joy. The penultimate Chapter, “The unfortunate process of dying slowly” opened the flood gates as Courtenay dwells on climbing the ladder the best he could, but sadly there would be no more “one last time” 😦

The final Chapter provokes a deep desire to plant sunflower seeds – to take pleasure in watching them grow tall, dancing in the sun 🙂  I have renewed faith that I too can become a successful Novelist no matter my age. But mostly, Bryce Courtenay reminded me to keep writing and always believe my time will come.

An inspirational masterpiece! An absolute must-read!

 

Camp Nano Winner 2017

I committed to writing a romance novel in June. It was a decision I didn’t take lightly. I knew it would take a lot of sacrifice and hard work to see the end result and the timing felt right. Coming up with an idea for my novel didn’t materialize overnight. It took months of soul-searching that set me on the path to believe that maybe, just maybe I could do this.

Although I was thrilled to start the writing process on the 1^st of June, it began on an anticlimax as I could only write a few words before anxiety set in. I was feeling overwhelmed by the mammoth task ahead and doubted myself. It took a few days for the fear of failure to leave as I refused to give up, pitching up every evening, writing as many words as I could get out.

I’d also scheduled a number of writing days with fellow writers to work towards our various projects. This was daunting as I prefer to write in isolation. However, I felt their energy and skillfulness rubbing off, encouraging me to persevere. It was the perfect place to ask all sorts of writing related questions and receive professional advice without any charge! My writing friends are always eager to impart their knowledge, something I’m grateful for.

I managed to make it to Chapter Three when one of my friends challenged me to join Camp Nano Wrimo. This is a virtual camp that takes place during the month of July. One registers and creates a profile with a project and sets a goal of what you’d like to achieve during the month. I chose a goal of 10 000 words. That meant writing 323 words per day. It seemed manageable as I’m all for pacing instead of sprinting to the end.

When the 1^st of July rolled around I was eager to get the ball rolling. I had four writing friends in Camp with me and it was fabulous to have a site dedicated to our goals, projects, word counts and a chat room to stay in touch. Once again I struggled to reach my daily target as my old friends “anxiety and doubt” surfaced. But I didn’t allow them to intimidate me as I diligently sat typing one word to the next, determined to achieve my goal.

Some days the story flowed beautifully, on others my characters were running in different directions like naughty children, much to my dismay. But I allowed them free reign, didn’t try to control, letting them to tell their story for I’m merely the scribe. It’s liberating pitching up at my computer not knowing what’s going to happen next, finding I’ve written more than anticipated, caught in the heat of a story even I don’t know the ending to 🙂

I reached my 10 000 word goal on 24 July 2017 on a high! I was so proud to have taken up the challenge, achieving what I set out to do. I even spoiled myself with a celebratory treat as a pat on the back for a job well done. I believe it’s important to celebrate oneself as expecting others to leads to disappointment as they don’t understand your sacrifice and commitment in pushing yourself beyond inconceivable limits.

Currently I’m sitting on Chapter Ten of my novel and I have to pinch myself because I didn’t think I’d get here. Camp Nano Wrimo gave the much-needed nudge to speed up my writing, to not overthink everything, to let the story flow and just enjoy the ride. The journey is far from over though, I still have a lot of work ahead of me, but I know I have what it takes to get to the end.

There are a number of people who’ve been my pillars of strength during the month of July. My Writing Group consisting of talented, strong, intelligent women who’ve encouraged me every step of the way. We’ve come a long way and having you as a support network is priceless. My family, especially Neil who’s always been so supportive of my writing, affording me time to pursue my dream whilst listening to endless chatter about my project, accompanying me on research missions 🙂 without a complaint! My children for sharing the burden of household chores when needed most. A massive THANK YOU to you all, without your belief, love and understanding I wouldn’t have reached this magnificent moment ❤